Key West
Travel is better when there is a mission, and for our trip to Key West last week, we had the greatest mission of all: Celebrate Gary's 50th Birthday.
Our previous excursions with Gary & Terri were to the rather non-tropical destinations of Boston and Washington, DC. However, for Gary's "life changing" birthday we wanted a locale with confirmed warmth. At Gary's suggestion, we decided on Key West.
Gary & Terri had not been to the keys for over twenty years. I had never been, and Zoë had only been as far south as Key Largo. For all of us, it would basically be a new experience.
Hard and Fast
Yes, an apt description for our long weekend getaways, but also the way our pilot described our pending landing at Key West International Airport. The runway is so short, only the pilot can make the actual landing. Overshooting the runaway is apparently frowned on.
Just as soon as the plane rolled, or shall I say skid, to a halt, the stairs were pushed up to the plane, and we were making our way across the tarmac to the terminal. Gary's celebration had begun.
I should have assumed when the runaway was described as "short," the terminal would not be described as "large." It wasn't. The departure room consisted of two small luggage conveyors…and a bar. It was like a mini-Las Vegas. I loved it.
With our bags in tow, we headed to the Hyatt Resort & Spa. The Hyatt is a beautiful property, sitting directly on the water, on the northwest side of town. The staff was simply phenomenal. When check-in consists of issuing champagne and room keys, I get a little misty eyed.
With our bags unpacked and our clothes changed, we started three days of adventure. Here are some of our memorable drinks and meals.
Conch Republic Seafood Company
With warm trade winds blowing in and temperatures in the mid eighties, outside dining was not a possibility, it was a requirement. Huddled under a large yellow umbrella, we took in the sights and sounds of the marina while eating fish tacos and much to Gary's pleasure, Stone Crab Claws. Great service and fabulous views.
We spent a good part of the day traveling Duval Street. Having never been to Key West, I spent a lot of time taking everything in. Key West was described by long time resident and Pulitzer Prize award winning writer Ernest Hemingway as "the St. Tropez of the Poor." An interesting comparison of the southernmost point in the United States to a seaside resort town in the south of France. A more modern day definition of Key West might be "paradise at a premium." While I'm sure there are depressed areas in town, staying there, and most certainly living there, is not cheap.
As we weaved our way through the relatively busy sidewalks, I couldn't help but wonder what Key West was like 80 years ago. Today, one time stately homes have been repurposed into restaurants, bars, and shops. The facades may look the same as their historical shadows, but their core is completely different.
The Rum Bar at the Speakeasy Inn is a great example. A hundred year old home turned inn and bar. The living room is literally the bar. I wish I could say we bellied up to the bar after extensive research, but the fact of the matter is we had to use the bathroom. Who would have guessed a small bladder could yield so many positive unintended consequences?
Nick, the bartender, was great and besides mixing us some awesome rum drinks & mojitos, gave us our dinner destination: The Tower Bar at Turtle Kraals.
Perched high over the historic seaport, the atmosphere at The Tower Bar could not have been any better. The ceviche, made with the day's fresh catch and restaurant grown herbs was simply amazing. I could have had two of them for dinner instead of one for an appetizer. The food was fresh and delicious. The service was impeccable. I had to remind myself it was a bar. Nick's suggestion was spot on and greatly appreciated.
As is apparent custom in Key West, we joined the masses at Mallory Square to watch the setting sun. Packed full of tourists and street performers, we sipped on beers and walked the crowd. The setting sun was the first act. The departing Royal Caribbean Cruise Ship was the second. While I probably made one too manly jokes about Captain Stubbing & Issac the bartender, it was a neat sight watching the mooring lines pulled in and the ship setting off. It was a great end to an action packed first day.
Birthday Boy Gary is a "big breakfast" kind of guy, which works great for me as I am too. Not a shocker, I'm sure.
Day two started us off at Two Friends Patio Restaurant. As we devoured omelets and sausage, we noticed a sudden influx of diners. Another cruise ship had docked. It's not terribly difficult to realize that when the population swells by 3,000, a ship has docked. With breakfast out of the way, we continued our exploration.
Friends who have visited Key West told me not to miss visiting the Southernmost Point and getting a picture. When we arrived, there was only a small crowd queued up to get a photo. We slid up to the marker, smiled, and watched as my iPhone slipped out of Terri's hand and flew six feet through the air.
I have a case, so the phone was fine, but the unified held breath by those watching my phone take flight was pretty funny. All's well that lands well. Much like our flight.
An afternoon stop included a daiquiri at Fat Tuesday's. Gary ordered it, and I'm still not 100% what sure what was in it and frankly, the ease at which he ordered the concoction made me realize A. He has done this before and B. I should be scared.
Margaritaville
I have been a Parrothead for as long as I can remember, so it was a treat to visit the original Margaritaville. If you have ever been to any of his newer establishments, they are huge in comparison. Nonetheless, the atmosphere was fun, the beer was welcome, and the appetizers were necessary. Fins up!
Floridays
One of my favorite Buffett songs, also happens to share the name of a boat. Conveniently located at the Hyatt's pier, the 60 foot sailboat, Floridays, was our vessel for enjoying Key West's Friday sunset. Armed with cold beer and strong winds, Mike the Captain took us and 15 others out for an amazingly enjoyable evening.
As we sailed across the coast, I thought of two things. One, I want a sailboat, but the lack of grill space makes it hard to justify. Two, Hemmingway.
"Sun and sea air, as they dry your body, make for almost effortless beer consumption," he said. "The body needs liquid of a nourishing kind. The palate craves coolness. The optic nerve delights in the sensation of chill that comes from its nearness to the palate as you swallow. Then the skin suddenly blossoms with thousands of happy beads of perspiration as you quaff."
Although we were on a short two hour journey, I couldn't agree more.
Speaking of beer consumption, the birthday boy won the smallest bladder award. He hit the head first and I was there with the camera.
Did I mention the setting sun?
El Meson de Pepe
Gary's parents are Cuban, so he was more than excited to partake Cuban food. Although rain forced us inside, dinner was superb, and my combo, consisting of picadillo and roast, was out of this world. It only took me until the next morning to order a Cuban cookbook.
Rain doesn't go over well in Key West. While things were relatively quiet for a Friday, the rain seemingly sent everyone indoors. The streets were empty.
Thankfully, a gap in the front gave us time to reach the Hog's Breath Saloon.
Another Key West staple, the Hog's Breath sits back about 50 feet off the street. A two person band cranked out Bob Seger and James Taylor as we worked our way to the corner of the bar. As I worked through my Red Stripe (yes, a warm climate requires a holiday beer), we chilled with the tunes and the easy going eclectic crowd. Another great end to a fabulous day.
For our third morning, we hit the Hyatt's restaurant, Shor.
Our outside breakfast was another hit.
My breakfast hash with eggs, and a large amount of required coffee was the perfect fuel for the day ahead. We all left stuffed.
Our getaways with Gary & Terri have one rule: no private transportation. When we land, we either pay for a taxi (Uber, preferably), or we walk. While Key West is totally walkable, and thus meeting our requirements, we had the desire to explore more than our feet wanted to travel. Enter our ride.
As I told everyone, our electric car fit the bill as our top speed was 26 mph, and we had no doors.
Thanks to Gary's impeccable driving skills and our vehicle's battery, we made our way to El Siboney. Nestled back in a neighborhood, way off the beaten path, El Siboney was quaint and Cuban. We loved it.
El Siboney was also the second place I had Hatuey, an authentic Cuban beer. Brewed in Wisconsin. It was a pale ale and actually not too bad.
After a filling lunch, we explored more of the south coast before dropping off our ride and walking into town.
The words "craft beer" get my attention like the Bat Signal catches Batman's eye, so it is not surprising I spied the small hanging sign for The Porch. On Caroline St., just off Duval, sits the historic Porter House, built in 1838. While a mansion in its day, time segregated its room into apartments. After passing through the building's expansive front door, an immediate left takes you to probably the only true craft beer bar in historic Key West: The Porch.
With 18 beers on tap and over 50 in bottles, we made our selections and made our way back outside.
While it's hard to picture life at the Porter house in its heyday, sitting on the porch overlooking Duval St. makes it a little bit easier. The view was incredible as we watched people work their way up and down the strip. My beer, Founder's Backwoods Bastard, was especially enjoyable.
From The Porch, we hit a very unlikely south coast destination: JDL's Big Ten Football pub. Gary is a huge Ohio State fan. As a proud Purdue Boilermaker, I don't get the fuss. I always know we lose. Buckeye fans see things differently. They always want to see their team win.
As we made our way down the other side of Caroline St, we expected an empty pub. How surprised we were when we pulled back the darkly lit doors and found a packed house full of ravenous football fans.
With the game already started, we shared a table with a couple from Chicago and watched Ohio State win. We also confirmed what I already knew to be true. Purdue lost.
We had dinner at the A&B Lobster House and from dinner, worked our way to Jim Croce's Rum Barrel. We reached last call at the Rum Barrel, which for us is something to brag about, but seeing it was 10 PM, and we were the only people there, it looses a little bit of partying luster. That being said, the staff was attentive, and between drinks and laughs we had a great time.
For departure morning, we had breakfast at the Bagatelle. Much like The Porch, Bagetelle was a mansion transferred into a restaurant. Help was friendly and the food divine. My Huevos Rancheros were spot on, and our perch on the sweeping front porch gave us a bird eye's view of Sunday morning Duval St. It was perfect.
Our last meal was the same as our first, back at the Conch Republic Seafood Company. It was a bittersweet lunch as we lapped up the last of the warm weather. In six hours, we would experience a sixty degree temperature swing. It was only in the twenties at home and Gary was determined to wear shorts the entire way back. He was, after all, the birthday boy, so no one complained. Apparently turning fifty thickens your skin. Literally.
If you have read this far, and I congratulate you if you have, it is obvious to see we loved Key West. There was little not to like. While I have left a few places out that didn't blow us away, suffice to say, nothing was bad. My only regret was not having a beer at Captain Tony's. Yeah, we walked by it a bunch, could have gone in, but never did.
I went down to Captain Tony's,
to get out from the heat.
I heard a voice call out to me,
"Son come have a seat."
Last Mango in Paris - by Jimmy Buffett
As we settled into our airplane seats for the ride home, Gary's birthday glow had yet to fade. Well, at least until he spilled his scotch, but then when his glass was filled back up, he started to glow again.
The short runway we landed on was really symbolic of our hard and fast trip, for as the jets fired up for takeoff, we cleared the runway in seemingly record time and the asphalt, like our getaway, was behind us. Good bye Key West hope to see you again soon. Oh, and Happy Birthday, Gary!
